Brooklyn Phone Thief Needed More Training

According to NYDailyNews, a 52 year old man was struck by a train after stealing a phone from Metro PCS.

I think this is a very sad story, not because he died, but because if this was 20 years ago and he stole a Nokia phone, he could have used it to stop the train. Phones these days don’t hold up like they used to. JustĀ  out of curiosity, I would like to know what kind of phone it was. Whatever brand it is, they should use this story in their commercials. “People are dying to get their hands on the new iPhone! Don’t believe us? Ask Fred here. Oh, wait, you can’t because Fred doesn’t have a fucking head any more.” It’s a shame he had to steal it. I just don’t understand why he didn’t just ask Santa for one, like I did.

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